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The Destroyed
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Russian Roulette
Self-Released
Release: 1/03/2006
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Rated:
Review by:
J Sherrod
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Let me just start by running a disclaimer right from the
get-go. This band, The Destroyed, submitted a copy of their
new CD Russian Roulette to be reviewed by
NowOnTour. The following is my description of what I heard
through my own two ears. Everybody knows that old sayin'
about opinions, and I've been called an asshole a few
hundred times in my life, so take it for what it is. If you think
I'm wrong then feel free to find out for yourself.
This album is titled Russian Roulette for a
reason. I own a handgun and after the second listen to it I
wanted to play the game with a fully loaded chamber. So, I
can at the least say that the album is appropriately
titled.
The two-piece guitar and drum group has been around for
nearly thirty years and are hyped as a world renowned,
legendary punk band. It's understood that punk rock was
never intended to be technical or even all that good. Sadly,
these guys have taken that way to fuckin' far!
This entire album sounds like it was recorded in the den of a
trailer home, on a four-track recorder, with one microphone
- after a case of cheap wine and a bag of cheaper pot. The
songs have absolutely no structure, the vocals sound like a
person still on Novocain after leaving' the dentist's office,
and...shit, I give up!
Look, ladies and gentlemen, I've got other CD's by real
musicians to review right now. I will say the most positive
thing about this album I can before I move on to the next
review. Here it goes...
No matter how much I hated listening to this album I vow to
keep it as long as I live and share it with as many people as
I possibly can. This album is like that gallon of soured milk
that's so rank you've gotta let somebody else try it before
you throw it out. It's like that e-mail that's been passed
around with the girl having' sex with a horse or the naked 90
year old granny that you have to look at twice just to make
sure you really saw it and then pass it on to as many people
as you can to gross them out and hope they will do the
same.
It's like driving by a horrific car crash but making a double
take in hopes you might see a really gory dead body. Like
the fart that stinks so bad you wish others were there to
share in your creation so you call people on the phone to
brag about it. (I just did this last week by the
way.)
Well, The Destroyed, if this is your mega fart then I promise
to share it with the world! The only way in life to truly
appreciate what is considered "good" in life is to bare
witness to something the complete opposite. With all that
bein' said, if I've sold just one single copy of the CD with this
terrible review, then my work here is done. |
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